Sean ‘Shout’ is Out!

 

 

Hello Soapsters! Welcome to A Slice Of Soap.

 

EastEnders – w/e September 16

This week, the big story in EastEnders is the release of Sean ‘shout!’ Slater. Yes he’s out, and there’s only one thing on his mind…REVENGE. Notice the upper case? That’s because Sean ‘shout!’ Slater can’t talk at a reasonable level of volume. He should carry a government health warning because we’ll all have perforated eardrums if he stays in this soap much longer. It got me thinking about the jobs Sean ‘shout!’ Slater would be perfect for: barman at a club – you’d easily be able to hear him above the booming bass sound system. Or he could be a look-out for one of those market scammers you see selling dodgy gear. He’d stand in Albert Square and warn his mates on Oxford Street that the Old Bill’s coming. Anyway, I wouldn’t like to be in Deano and Chelsea’s shoes when Sean ‘shout!’ Slater catches up with them. He doesn’t even have to use physical violence – he can just try and whisper in their ears. 

 

Did you see them on Friday’s episode? They were blubbering like a couple of kids who’d just been caught red-handed nicking sweets out of a local corner shop, especially Chelsea: "I want my mummy…I want my mummy!" She can certainly pull some ugly, and I mean, hhhhhhugly faces when she’s distressed, can’t she? Don’t get me wrong, Chelsea is quite an attractive young girl, but when she starts crying, she makes Shirley and Pat Evans look like a couple of beauty queens. I really enjoyed watching Chelsea and Deano crumble under the pressure of police interrogation. It was great seeing the old good cop/bad cop routine being played out and I got a big thrill watching their story slowly fall to pieces. But what are they gonna do when Slater catches up with them? An ex soldier with anger management issues who’s been banged up in prison for a month can only mean one thing…trouble. Deano and Chelsea should do something sensible for a change…ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

 

Also on EastEnders this week:

 

Ian starts receiving threatening messages (I suppose some things never change)

Phil drinks himself senseless (didn’t have much then, did he?) and Shirley gives him a sofa to sleep on.

Peggy throws Phil out after Ben gets drunk

Coronation Street – w/e September 16

 

Clurrrrrrrr told Ashley that their marriage was over. Hip hip hooray! I did a little jig because I was so pleased. In fact, I was ecstatic so I busted a move with some breakdancing. That’s how much I couldn’t contain my happiness at the thought that maybe, just maybe, Clurrrr and Ashley will be leaving the street for good. If so, at least something positive would have come of the boring Clurrrr/Ashley/Casey love triangle (yawn).

 

The big story on Corrie this week concerns a couple that would rival Clurrrrrrr and Ashley for the prize for the most dull characters in soap history…The Croppers. Yes I know they’re harmless, but honestly Hayley and Roy make Clurrrr and Ashley look as animated as Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah Winfrey’s couch. However, in their defence, the Croppers are meant to be steady-eddy types, aren’t they? It must be a challenge for the writers to come up with decent storylines for them. Anyway, Hayley is shocked when the detective finds her long lost son Christian. So we now know that Hayley made love to a woman as a man. And, not content with swapping gender from male to female, she is now claiming to be an aunty when we all know that she’s really the daddy. As you can imagine Roy – being the principled man that he is – is furious when he finds out that Hayley has a secret son and is pretending to be his aunt. If only Hilda Ogden was still on’t Street; she’d love all this.

 

Also on Coronation Street this week:

 

‘Damian’ David crops Bethany’s doll.

‘Damian’ David stashes Darryl’s drugs inside Bethany’s doll.

Tyrone gets jealous over Molly and Paul.

 

Emmerdale – w/e September 16

 

The Great Diamond Robbery. Eli hanging off the edge of a building. Jo and her petting farm…all award-winning Emmerdale storylines. But there’s one coming up on Thursday that tops them all and  it  concerns Jo and her silly goats. If you can’t wait until it’s on TV, let me fill you in on what’s going to happen. Andy, Jo’s love interest, finally gets his divorce and decides to propose to her in a hot air balloon. Sounds really romantic doesn’t it? But here’s where it all gets twisted (because Emmerdale doesn’t do ‘interesting’ any more). One of Jo’s goats bites through the rope holding the balloon down and…you guessed it… screaming Jo is whisked up into the air while Andy chases after her in his van.

 

What’s your view on that,eh? I bet you all think I’m joking. I wish I could respond "psych!" and outline something compelling instead. But no. Alas, this is really one of the scenarios lined up in this soap this week. And if you don’t believe me, watch Emmerdale on Thursday. I’m already cracking up at the thought of Jo drifting off into the clouds never to be seen again. Maybe we should put the scriptwriters in the balloon too.

 

Also on Emmerdale this week:

 

Grayson finally realises the horror of what’s been happening to his wife.

Grayson kicks Rosemary out.

Debbie accepts Pollards offer for the necklace.  

 

Hollyoaks w/e September 16

 

In Hollyoaks, the news of Sarah’s engagement sets everyone abuzz with excitement. It seems as though love is in the air, but love between who? By the looks of things, it certainly ain’t Sarah and Craig. John Paul has concocted a plan that should see the couple separate forever but will his plan work? Despite his efforts to ruin their engagement party, a distraught Sarah later confounds Nancy by declaring that she still loves Craig in spite of his betrayal (she must need her head examining). When Craig visits her to explain himself, she tries to convince him that they can make a fresh start of things in Dublin. It’s a gripping storyline for Guy Burnett, one of Hollyoaks longest-serving actors, to go out on. As an actor, you can’t get better than your character falling in love with his best mate. Fans will definitely miss him.

  

Also on Hollyoaks this week:

 

Warren and Justin agree to call a truce for Katy’s sake, but Clare is left shaken by Warren’s threatening behaviour.
Clare is determined not to sell the Loft to Warren, but is struggling as a result of his heavy-handed tactics.

John Paul wonders if Craig is ready to face the outside world.

 

 

Gus Watch:

Our hero Gus spots a damsel in distress hovering over Walford in a hot air balloon. He also sees what looks like a goat hanging from a suspended rope by its teeth. A quick glance to make sure no one sees him and Gus picks up his broom, takes aim, and with a throw that would put Daley Thompson to shame (old school, people. Back to the 1980s!), hurls his broom  towards the heavens bringing down the balloon and the goat safely into his capable arms. Once again our mild-mannered road sweeper has saved the day by becoming his alter ego: SuperGus. In other words, Gus did nothing useful on EastEnders last week and will probably do nothing useful on EastEnders this week.

 

 

That’s it for today. Join me on Wednesday for more news and gossip from the world of soaps. Got a comment about your favourite soap, this blog or anything else? Share it with me.

 

 

Ms Bubbles

MSN’s Eye On Soaps