Hello and welcome to another edition of A Slice Of Soap. There’s still time to enter this week’s caption competition
so get scribbling and make us all laugh.
Here we go! The first ever live episode! This is a live blog so Press F5 to refresh your screen and keep up with all the latest happenings. Feel free to leave to leave comments as the episode progresses. Who’s your money on as the killer of Archie?
DOOF-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof! Show begins with Bradley looking scared. Ronnie says nothing when she’s accused of killing Archie. Now we’re in the Queen Vic and Bianca’s going mad.
So far – lots of short little scenes. We’re moving quickly from one to the other.
Now we’re back to Bradley. I can’t decide if Scott Maslen’s nervous or if Jack Branning’s meant to be stammering and spluttering as he speaks. Scene changes to Ronne and Roxy – this episode is very bitty so far.
Dot is crying about Dotty as Ian tries to comfort her. Phil bursts in and looks at Ian as if he’s dog poo. Ian looks scared. Now we’re back in the Vic for Bianca and Ricky’s reception – classy.
Peggy is ordering Janine to "git owwwwwwwwwt!" Now we’re back to Phil and Ian; Beale is squealing as a red-faced Phil menaces him.
Bradley is frantically packing while Stacey sits on a bed looking forlorn. Uh-oh, we know where this is heading… Stacey’s got a secret and she doesn’t want to tell Bradley. Back we go to Phil and Ian – Phil’s doing his Incredible Hulk impression. Phil has just threatened to kill Ian: surprise, surprise.
Bradley and Stacey kiss Max goodbye while Jack stands around looking like he wishes he could remember his next line. Sirens blare and shock! It’s the police! Run Bradley, run!!
Back to the reception and Minty’s getting naked. Yuck! They could’ve warned us. A ‘merry’ Pat’s trying to get everyone to dance. "Come on Peggy! 60s style" she says. Ooo-er missus! Back to Max and he’s trying to hold the police off but he looks about as convincing as a £13 note.
Ian’s talking to Dot and he mentions Kelvin (Carpenter), Sharon (Watts/Mitchell/Rickman) and Michelle (Fowler). He talks about the year 1985 – subtle writers. Very subtle.
Phil’s telling Peggy that he didn’t kill Archie just as a drunk Ricky tells Phil that he’s got to give his speech. Bradley and his pregnant wife are trying to run away. Over we go the Mitchell sisters and Ronnie’s talking about Archie abusing her. I knew he’d done something like that! There had to be a reason she hated him that much. Roxy thinks this gives her a motive for killing Archie. "Is that why you did it?" she asks.
All that running can’t be good for Stacey’s bump. Bradley flags down a black cab (when it’s needed – people can always get a cab in Albert Square. That never happens for me). Bradley’s forgotten the passports and he’s got to go back. Stacey’s having a fit. What’s the secret Stacey? Come on!
Back to Ronnie and Roxy – all this time and this pair still bore me. Roxy’s telling Peggy that Ronnie killed Archie. She says she wants the truth. "You want the truth?" Peggy says. "Fine. I’ll tell you…" And just when we think it’s going to be Peggy…. it isn’t. She saw him on the floor and walked out. It’s not Phil and it’s not Peggy: who is it?
Ian’s playing an old VHS home video for Dot (that don’t look like no home video!) – the old Fowlers! Arthur, Pauline, Michelle – even poor David Scarboro RIP, the original Mark Fowler who sadly killed himself. The Vic! Angie! Sharon! Wow a real trip down memory lane but a clumsy insert. As if he’d remember to dig it up! I can’t find last week’s Heat and he’s remembered to dig around for some old VHS tape?
Over we go to Stacey looking worried. Bradley’s emerged just as the police have. Stacey sees some coppers and runs. Bradley’s phone goes off and alerts the Old Bill: "Stop him!" DCI Marsden cries. Bradley goes up a roof to try and escape. I don’t like where this is going!
"STAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!" he cries. "STAAAAAACE RUN!" he shouts… and falls off the roof!!!! Oh no!!!!!
OH. MY. GOD!!!!! Bradley’s getting killed off!! Everybody’s screaming his name!! Max is going hysterical!! Jack’s in shock (probably cos he doesn’t have to remember his lines anymore). Blood’s pouring from Bradley’s head!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Stacey is going made with grief and makes a tearful confession: STACEY KILLED ARCHIE!!!!! DOOF-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof-doof!
That was a strange episode, some parts moved along better than others. You can tell who’s not good under pressure (Scott Maslen; never sign up for MI5). Typical of them to extract the most drama from Charlie Clements’ decision to leave; Stacey revealing that she’d killed Archie was a gasp-out-loud moment because of how they did it.
That’s the end of Bradley Branning. He can never come back now (unless they decide that he faked his death, just like Dirty Den). We’ll miss you Charlie Clements. What did you think of the show? Let me know by leaving a comment and please keep it clean or I will have to delete.
That’s it for me, I’m out of here. Join me on Monday for a full preview of your favourite soaps. Got a comment about your favourite soap, this blog or anything else? Share it with me. Don’t forget to enter this week’s caption competition Get scribbling and make us all laugh.
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