Hello and welcome to today’s edition of A Slice Of Soap. There’s still time to enter this week’s caption competition so get scribbling and make us all laugh. What’s going on in the soaps this week? Let’s find out.
EastEnders w/e Friday October 23
Remember This Life? The 1990s BBC drama? Well former star Ramon Tikaram will play Amira Shah’s father Qadim in EastEnders. Ramon will turn up in the Square for Amira’s wedding to Syed.
A bit of info about Qadim – he’s a control freak and he’s a bit dodgy too – he’s served time in prison. If Syed and Amira go through with their wedding, we’ll be on countdown to the big reveal about Christian…
Heather and Shirley are cash-strapped. Peggy, Pat and Patrick throw Heather a surprise baby shower. Janine has a change of heart about setting up Sam. Billy and Jay are forced to find somewhere else to live. Jack threatens Phil and Darren stuns Libby. Heather panics as she goes into labour. Patrick tries to keep her calm by singing Wham songs with her. How come Patrick knows the words to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go?. Heather finally gives birth to a healthy baby boy and names him George Michael Trott. That has to be the best in-joke any soap has ever had.
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but Pat hot-wires Shirley’s ice cream van. What’s she been doing? Watching The Bill? Shirley confesses about the drugs to Phil and he punches Jack in the face. Phil finds a drunk Peggy and Pat declaring their love for each other(!!!!). Heather phones the mystery dad to tell him that they have a son. Get ready for EastEnders deja vu: when Michelle arranged to meet the father of her baby, all the men in the Square were shown heading off somewhere. This time, all the men in the Square are shown answering phones. Who’s the daddy? My money’s on Phil or Minty. I’ll go with… Minty.
Also on EastEnders this week:
Jay sets up a date between Billy and Jean
Tamwar celebrates his birthday at The Vic
Denise is livid over Owen’s return
Emmerdale w/e Friday October 23
Good times for the rural soap; it’s doing well in the ratings and it’s had the honour of being spoofed by Harry Hill. Did you see his ‘Vicar fiiiiiiiiight’ segment? I laughed until my stomach hurt! I didn’t think it was possible for that scene between Ashley and Vincent to be funnier, but Harry Hill topped it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take those two seriously again.
This week, there’s a lot of hormones racing around the Dales. What the heck is in the water? Mark spots Faye in The Woolpack with Jai and gets all jealous. He tells Faye that he wants to be with her and kisses her. Faye tells him that she doesn’t want to know unless he’s single. Nathan pressures Leyla to go out with him, gets her drunk and then gets her into bed. Classy.
Faye’s crushed when Maisie reveals that her parents have a romantic evening planned. Adam, John and Moira try to talk to Holly about Aaron. Lisa’s worried Charity will let Debbie down again. Donna asks Marlon to file for divorce. Ashley’s concerned about Sally. Cain returns to the village, argues with Charity and then kisses her passionately. Sally decides it’s time to leave.
Also on Emmerdale this week:
Cain offers Charity £20,000 to leave the village for good
A guilty Leyla confides in Gennie
Mark pledges his eternal love to Natasha
Coronation Street w/e Friday October 23
Firstly, best wishes to Corrie legend Maggie Jones. She makes the old soap come alive as battleaxe Blanche Hunt. We all want her to get well soon. On to other news and Alison King wants her character Carla Gordon to find a new man. The actress, back from maternity leave after giving birth to daughter Daisy Mae, said: "The one true love she’s had has been Liam (Rob-James Collier)." True. Such a pity Rob moved on…
It’s the day of baby Liam’s christening but Tony has an emergency meeting. Guess who it’s with? Yep, Carla. Luke packs his bags and heads out of the cobbles, but he’s also carrying a secret. Carla tells Tony to end things with Maria. She threatens to go to the police if he doesn’t do what she says.
Kevin and Sally console a devastated Rosie who’s lost everything. Oh dear Rosie, payback is a bitch, isn’t it? Kevin tells her to go to the police but he secretly believes that John Stape’s money has been nothing but a curse.
In a scene that’s straight out of the Godfather, Tony meets up with Jimmy and orders him to get rid of Carla. Then he goes into church to become… the godfather. Of Liam’s son. Oh puhleeeeez! What next? Is Emily Bishop gonna be sleeping with the fishes? Will David Platt go to the mattresses? I don’t know how the writers have the nerve to pen this stuff sometimes, I really don’t.
Also on Coronation Street this week:
Tyrone’s birthday gift for Molly throws a spanner in the works
Jack and Connie turn up in The Rovers
Pam’s debt collecting for Bill
Hollyoaks w/e Friday October 23
If you’re not watching Ricky Whittle on Strictly Come Dancing, allow me to update you on his progress. On Saturday, Ricky danced a Viennese waltz to David Cassidy song How Can I Be Sure. He was easily a league or two above everyone else – it’s not really a competition at this point. And that’s not good for Strictly. But good for Ricky; can he keep it up? We shall see.
Nancy’s obsessing about Jake being back. Loretta feels guilty about her secret involvement with Jake. Kris tries to avoid Hannah. Theresa’s making Anita’s life hell. Ste is shocked when Natty turns up. Carmel fires Myra when she finds out that she’s been stealing. Kris and Nancy visit Zoe in prison.
Mike’s struggling to cope as he makes arrangements for Sarah’s funeral. Lydia’s still an emotional wreck. Zak warns Dave off Michaela. Jake gets good news just as he’s coming to terms with imprisonment. On a high, he meets Loretta and tries to kiss her. It’s the day of Sarah’s funeral and Lydia breaks down.
Also on Hollyoaks this week:
Archie’s struggling to deal with Zoe being in prison
Tony and Cindy return from their honeymoon
Ste ends up jobless and homeless
That’s it for me, I’m out of here. Join me on Wednesday for more soap news and gossip and don’t forget to try this week’s caption competition
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