Hello and welcome to today’s edition of A Slice Of Soap. There’s still time to enter this week’s caption competition
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What’s going on in soapland this week? Let’s find out…
EastEnders w/e Friday March 6
Before I talk about Callum Monks, Enders’ big departure this week, a bit of news about a hopeful arrival. David Van Day, singer with pop group Dollar and eccentric star of I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!, wants to appear in EastEnders. He said the BBC soap is his favourite and he’d love to star in it: "I trained as an actor – a classical actor – and it would be nice to get in one of the soaps. The best one I suppose is EastEnders. It would be nice to do something like that. It would be change for me," he said. At any other time, it would be too ridiculous for words, but EastEnders needs livening up as it’s going through one of its dry spells. I’m A Celebrity would’ve been as dull as watching grass grow if it hadn’t been for David Van Day so maybe he can do a cameo and keep us all awake!
So, waste-of-space Callum Monks is no more after this week. I’ve got nothing against Elliott Jordan, the actor who plays Callum, he did his best but the writers let him down. Callum Monks will be forgotten in a month’s time and that’s the most I can say about him. What was the point of him being there? Anyway, Archie’s still making big wedding plans. Tanya and Jane are dressed in their 80s gear but are refused entry as they are too drunk. Ian’s furious with Jane for being so deceitful. Patrick tells Charlie to make more assertive moves on Brenda. Janine is up to her old tricks. Jack tells Dot that he’s not going to his ex-wife Selina’s wedding. Danielle accuses Stacey of using her to get to men. Ian’s fuming when he learns who Peggy’s given the wedding catering contract to. Minty turns to the lonely hearts section of the local paper. Billy believes there’s a poltergeist in the flat (the mind boggles). Dawn wants Garry to arrange a gym membership for them both. Mo teases Charlie about being stood up by Brenda. Janine learns of Archie’s business interests. Roxy tries to make amends with Ronnie, before turning to Jack for money.
Also on EastEnders this week:
Paul and Callum clash in The Vic
Jean returns to the Square
Jack gives Roxy an expensive gift for their daughter Amy
Emmerdale w/e Friday March 6
So, did you see poor Roxanne Pallett get the boot on Dancing On Ice? She really didn’t deserve to go, but it was inevitable once Coleen had been saved by the public. Question is, will she find another high-profile TV role like Jo Sugden? We’ll see. On Emmerdale this week, Eli and Marlon decide to become Britain’s answer to the A-Team; they hatch a plot to break Debbie out of prison but events take a few unexpected turns. Disguising themselves as a chef and a vicar, the brothers head to the hospital where Debbie and Danielle are being held, while Zak and Shadrach wait in the getaway van outside. However, after tackling the guards and freeing Danielle, they are shocked to discover that Debbie doesn’t want to be rescued. The A-Team? The F-Team, more like…
Nicola’s warned off Mark by Katie. In a one-hour episode: the Dingles are beside themselves with worry before Debbie’s appearance in court. Will Debbie go down for a crime she didn’t commit? Jealous Doug wonders whether Brenda still has feelings for Bob. Deluded Nicola thinks Mark and Natasha are both interested in her. Meanwhile, the Thomas and Dingle families both have to deal with their own problems in the wake of the drama in court. Nicola starts wondering how to get her hands on Jimmy’s nest egg. Brenda confides in Doug that Bob may have to sell the businesses. Carl questions his brother about Nicola’s interest in him and Jimmy eventually exposes her intentions. Nathan asks Katie for her opinion on Pollard as the Wyldes need to do business with him.
Also on Emmerdale this week:
Sam has a run-in with Nathan
Scarlett warns Nicola against messing Jimmy around
The judge in Shane’s murder investigation comes to a decision
Coronation Street w/e Friday March 6
It’s only been two weeks since the death of her baby son, but grieving Kym Marsh has returned to the set of Coronation Street. The star, who plays Michelle Connor, and her actor boyfriend Jamie Lomas (nightclub owner Warren Fox in Hollyoaks) were devastated when their son Archie Jay Lomas died seconds after being born. Corrie bosses gave Kym time off on bereavement leave, but she bravely decided to return to work. The pair got together after her marriage to EastEnders actor Jack Ryder ended. All our sympathies Kym…On’t cobbles, it’s the day of Gary’s court case; he’s scared stiff he’s going to be sent down and David’s worried that Tina’s not going to turn up. Over to the bore-a-thon storyline as Ken tells Ted that he has feelings for Martha, but doesn’t want to hurt Deirdre – whatever. I mean, how ridiculous is all this? Ken and his loins again! What a waste of Stephanie Beacham. If she had to be someone’s bit of fluff, even Dev would’ve been more believable.
We’re promised the chav wedding of the year when unlikely couple Steve and Becky finally wed. I can’t wait! I wonder if Jeremy Kyle’s invited…? Graeme manages to impress the neighbours with his knowledge of gardening. Luke persuades the girls to work some overtime after he secures a big order from a local company. Rosie feels her nose is being pushed out of joint by Julie’s working relationship with the new boss. Liz discovers that Lloyd lied to her about Friday – what’s he up to?
Leanne gets a job offer running a restaurant in Leeds. The fallout from the court case continues to cause problems as the Platts and the Windasses return to Coronation Street. Tina dumps David and Graeme tells ‘Damien’ David that he wants to get in there now that she’s single. Dev’s less than impressed when he finds Tara flirting with Luke. Norris is surprised when Mary tells him that her mother’s moving into a home and invites him to go travelling with her in the motor home. Becky asks Hayley if she’ll make her a wedding dress. Leanne’s completely thrown when a woman called Christina turns up at the bookies asking after Peter, who has returned to Weatherfield. Roy does his best to try and convince Liz that Becky has a heart of gold…
Also on Coronation Street this week:
Norris finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time
Ken lies to Deirdre
David’s furious with Tina
Hollyoaks w/e Friday March 6
I’ve done this over and over again, and guess what? I’m doing it again. What am I doing? Reporting about an ex soap star on a mission to win big roles in Hollywood. This time, it’s former Hollywoodoaks actress Gemma Atkinson, lately seen on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! She’s flying to Los Angeles in April to spend six weeks auditioning. "Hopefully I can make an impression over there," she told the Daily Star. "I love the life and everything. I am filming at the moment too which is really exciting. I play a character called Emily in a feature film called 13 Hours. It is a horror and it is hard work but very rewarding." Well, good luck to her. Who knows – she might make it big. Then again, she could end up like fellow former Hollyoaks actor Andy Newton-Lee (remember him as Robbie Flynn?). He’s been in LA for three years and hasn’t had one acting job yet! Apparently, he auditioned for just one line in 90210 – one line! – and was up against 39 other actors. He didn’t get it, but he has no plans to leave. He’s determined to make it one day…
On with the show and Calvin’s desperate to speak to Carmel following the revelation about Nige. Ste complains to Justin about Leila’s arty mess. Steph’s annoyed that the dance school business is going slowly. Warren turns up at the Valentines with a present, but Sasha’s disappointed when she finds out it’s from Spencer. Leila tries to go home before her parents have realised she’s moved out. Leila and Justin are stunned at how fast their relationship is moving and when he hands her a key, she gets the wrong impression. A loved-up Theresa wakes up to discover she’s got a black eye. Steph and Sarah take their first dance class in The Loft. Holly and Tom decide to form the ‘Cunningham Crime Busters’ detective agency. Elsewhere, after a grilling from Mercedes, Theresa lies and tells her Ste’s in the past. The sexual tension builds between Warren and Sasha. Natty and his mates tell Ste that they know how he feels about Amy and the baby and reassure him that they’ll help him. Michaela can’t stop talking about Zak’s heroism and sneakily signs him up to the Territorial Army, even though he’s resigned himself to a career in teaching.
Also on Hollyoaks this week:
Warren offers Calvin a cut in another job
Sasha celebrates her 18th birthday
Theresa is at home after being suspended from school
That’s it for me, I’m out of here. Join me on Wednesday for more soap news and gossip. Got a comment about your favourite soap, this blog or anything else? Share it with me.