Phil ‘Parklife’ Daniels Crashes Again

Hello and welcome to today’s edition of A Slice Of Soap. So what’s going on in soapland this week? Let’s get to it…

EastEnders w/e September 26

Poor old Phil ‘Parklife’ Daniels. Did you see him spectacularly crash out of Strictly Come Dancing last night after only one week on the show? It came as no surprise to me, cos he danced with about as much movement as a Mummy in a coffin. So what’s next for Phil ‘Parklife’ Daniels? A return to Albert Square perhaps? For all we know, we could’ve been watching Denise’s dreams over the last ten months (that’s one for Dallas fans. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, look it up). Until Kevin turns up in Denise’s shower, let’s get back to this week’s action…Suzy lies to Max about the whereabouts of the gun. Max asks Phil for another shooter (because they grow on trees, don’t they?). Whitney gets a part-time job and that makes Tony unhappy. Yolande’s still mad with Patrick for selling defrosted food. Dot’s stuck at home suffering from food poisoning. Pat’s becoming increasingly suspicious of Archie’s behaviour towards Peggy.

Mo gives Danielle a masterclass in market selling. Peggy stands her ground with Archie. Dot accuses Tamwar of poisoning her in front of the whole market and Danielle discovers Stacey’s contraceptive pills. Yolande tries to get Dot to change her story about the prawn sandwich. Suzy tries to play matchmaker between Max and Denise. Bradley and Stacey return from their romantic break. Suzy plays matchmaker between Denise and a mysterious man called Kwame in the salon. Peggy’s impressed with Danielle’s cleaning work at The Vic. Patrick and Yolande receive a visit from a Minute Mart manager.  Danielle confronts Stacey about the contraceptive pills she found earlier in the week and Stacey agrees to come clean with Bradley. Denise appears to enjoy Lucas’s company. Lucy confronts Tony…will she go to the police? Phil ‘Parklife’ Daniels steps out of Denise’s shower…(only joking!)

Also on EastEnders this week:
Heather discovers that Dot’s ill
Whitney threatens to spill the beans about Tony
Danielle has a disastrous day on the stall

Emmerdale w/e September 26

So what exciting award-winning happenings are taking place on the soap with the revolving door this week? Sorry Emmerdale fans; I really ought to drop the sarcasm. However, I’m finding it hard keeping up with all the comings and goings…mostly goings. I don’t care what the writers say, it isn’t all rosy on Emmerdale at the moment. However, if you’re a 20-something beauty who’s always wanted to be on TV, Emmerdale bosses want to hear from you. They’re on the hunt for a new minx to grace the show and attract more young men to watch. They want to find someone who can emulate the brilliant Kim Tate (played by Claire King)…that’s a tall order. Anyway, let’s get on with this week.

Debbie tells Eli she’s not going for custody of Sarah. Jamie becomes worried Louise is cheating on him when she keeps avoiding him. Louise confides in Terry about losing her ring and admits she’s dreading telling Jamie. Zak is furious to hear Eli’s going to propose to Debbie.  Eli steals a car from the garage and furiously drives it out of the village. David and Nicola agree that they should find a home together. At the Dingles, Eli tries to throw Danielle out, but it’s clear she’s in some trouble. After a night spent at Edna’s, Nicola admits she wants to reconcile with Rodney and Paul. Back at the Dingles, Eli grows impatient with Danielle being around. Meanwhile, Ashley and Laurel have little success, at first, when trying to recruit villagers to the choir. Can they save St Mary’s in time? Lily is surprised when Peter turns up in a bedraggled appearance. Marlon continues to irritate Donna instead of helping her. Elsewhere, Danielle continues to be frustrated in her attempts to get Eli on her side.

Also on Emmerdale this weekk:
Val announces she’s packed Nicola’s bags
Anna asks Matthew to take Nicola on at Home Farm
Danielle wraps Eli around her little finger

Coronation Street w/e September 26

She was so young and innocent once upon a time – but now Rosie Webster is confirmed as the Street’s young temptress. And she lives to fight another day after being kidnapped by ex loverboy John Stape, aka Weatherfield’s answer to Brad Pitt. The only problem she’s got is getting mum and dad, Sally and Kevin, to believe her version of events. Poor Rosie; she obviously hasn’t read the story about the ‘girl’ who cried wolf has she? While we’re on the subject of people failing to learn from their past mistakes, it’s time for Leanne to make an appearance. It’s my belief that she needs a decent storyline because she’s in danger of becoming a spare wheel. Anyway, after getting away with insurance fraud (by the skin of her teeth), Leanne and Janice try their hand at identity theft in an attempt to pocket the lottery win for themselves…the burning question that will be on everyone’s lips is: can Janice keep her mouth shut and stick to the story about their uncle leaving them the cash in his will? I think we all know the answer to that…

Clarissa’s growing increasingly suspicious of Liz and Harry. Fiz is struggling to cope with John constantly being around. Vernon is off to London. Harry’s still squirming at Clarissa’s announcement that she’s well enough to go to the ball after all. Tony’s not happy when Carla refuses to go to the Fashion Awards with him, so he asks Rosie instead. Rosie winds Kevin up about her evening with Tony (the little minx!). An excited Janice and Leanne go online to check their fake bank account. Carla’s driving Liam to distraction. Steve’s looking forward to Michelle’s return. Sinbad/Jerry shocks Mel and Darryl with the news that he would like them all to move abroad permanently…

Also on Coronation Street this week:
Tyrone agrees to be Kevin’s business partner
There’s tension at the Websters…(well, that’s nothing new)
Rosie shows Tony the incriminating mobile phone footage

Hollyoaks w/e September 26

Our beloved soaps are a great place to spot stars of the future, and Hollyoaks fans will be among the first to see a new girl band strut their stuff. November sees female outfit The Saturdays – aka Frankie, Vanessa, Una, Mollie and Rochelle – make their acting debut. Sadly, it won’t be in the teatime show. Instead they’ll be popping up in a new, steamy, late-night version. The Saturdays are set to play a fictional band who are in town for a gig. It makes a change from soap stars trying to top the charts (no offence Sid Owen – remember his truly bad cover version of the Jackson 5 hit Good Thing Going in 2000?). That’s in the future – let’s talk about now. Newt is finding it difficult to cope with all the attention when Frankie and Darren hear about his success in the writing competition. Tina’s excited about college, while Dominic’s left holding the baby. Jacqui has problems getting her business up and running. Amy’s angry when Ste insists he wants to be part of their baby’s life. Josh plans a romantic dinner for Amy, but Michaela gate-crashes and begins to organise a party at the Ashworth’s. Leila visits Justin in hospital. Jacqui wants to prove to Tony that she can make a success of the Tanning salon. Frankie’s concerned about Newt’s behaviour. It’s the grand opening of Tan & Tumble and, in the best tradition of soapland, there are major problems. Michaela and Zak make a huge mistake. Dom and Tina have been rowing all day at Tan & Tumble. Caroline buys two tickets for her and Russ to get out of Hollyoaks and go travelling. Leila’s beginning to regret pretending to be Justin’s girlfriend. Mandy and Steph are sick of being taken for granted by Cindy. Russ and Tina both have huge decisions to make.

Also on Hollyoaks this week:
Dom’s distraught over losing Tina
Jacqui turns Tony orange
Cindy’s fed up with Darren’s mollycoddling of Newt

That’s it for now. Join me on Wednesday for more soap news and gossip. Got a comment about your favourite soap, this blog or anything else? Share it with me.

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