Hello and welcome to A Slice Of Soap. It can’t have escaped your notice that Street legend Vera Duckworth, played by Liz Dawn, has gone. I’ve given some time for the dust to settle and now I’m assessing the soap in the post-Vera era. It’s a bit flat at the moment, isn’t it? They need to get rid of the deadwood and stop some of the more daft sensationalist storylines. Who should stay and who should go? Here’s what I think.
Maria Connor – A bit wet, really. You wouldn’t miss her if she wasn’t around.
Liam Connor – A pity actor Rob James-Collier’s leaving. A real pity.
Carla Connor – I’m struggling to see her role after Liam leaves, but maybe there could be some friction with Danny Baldwin once Bradley Walsh returns to the Street (I’m counting down the days. He’s desperately needed).
Ken, Deirdre and Blanche Hunt – It’s Blanche that makes this household fun to watch. She’s the archetypal monster mother-in-law and if the writers can come up with the goods, they should do more with this lot.
Emily Bishop and Betty Turpin – You know what you get with these two.
Rita and Norris – A funny double-act. He’s the male Mavis, isn’t he (remember her?).
Gail, Audrey and ‘Damian’ David – I thought I was going to be physically sick looking at David’s post-coital expression. Yuck. He needs a foil to bounce off of and although his antagonism towards his mum is compelling at times, he needs someone else now that his sister has gone. Question is, who?
The Websters – Now that they’ve turned Sally into Hyacinth Bucket (a stroke of genius by the writers because she was really boring years ago) the Websters are good to watch when they get the right storylines.
Roy and Haley – They’re a bit dry to watch at times, but when the writers get it right, there can be humour in their marriage. When Roy says something like, "I was going to watch a documentary on the oldest rotative steam engine in the world", it cracks me up.
Ashley and Clurrrrrr Peacock – For the love of God, please get rid of them. They’re so boring.
Janice Battersby – She’s nowhere near as good or as funny as Cilla was. But Coronation Street needs a loudmouth so she should stay.
Leanne Battersby – She desperately needs a decent storyline. Jane Danson’s in mourning at the moment, but when she’s back, I hope they find something for her to do.
Jack Duckworth – He’ll be lost without Vera, you mark my words. Hilda wasn’t quite the same after Stan died and this is the reverse situation. He needs someone to bounce off of too – Terry would’ve been perfect but Nigel Pivaro’s not sticking around.
Molly and Tyrone – What’s not to like? They’re nice and inoffensive and Jack needs them to bounce off of.
Paul Clayton – Glad he’s going. He’s not been very well written in my opinion.
Liz and Vernon – They’re growing on me, especially Vernon who is just a big idiot.
Steve McDonald – I love Steve. He’s fab.
Michelle and Ryan Connor – Their baby swap storyline stinks, but they’re good for the soap.
Dev Alahan – He’s turning into a spare wheel which is a pity cos he can be quite funny. I like his golf days with Steve – hilarious. They should do more of that.
Eileen Grimshaw – Love her.
Jason Grimshaw – Now that Liam’s going, he gets his Street stud status back. I like him and I especially liked his double-act with Sean, that was hilarious at times.
Kirk Sutherland – Better to watch than his sister.
Fiz Brown – She’s a good supporting character.
Sean Tully – He fits in well to Corrie. When he offered his heartfelt commiserations to Jack and Terry said afterwards, "Who the ‘ell was that?!?" I laughed so hard, I got hiccups.
Chesney Battersby-Brown – A sweetie.
Jamie and Violet – I’m counting down the days until this boring duo go.
Kelly and Lloyd – I’ve got an idea and it involves Craig Charles’ Lloyd. If he’s going to stick around (and I can’t see it in the long term I’m afraid) – get these two back together again and make them the new Jack and Vera. Kelly can play the nagging wife-type, always wanting to escape the Street for the Posh/WAG life, and Lloyd can be the man who’s under the thumb who’s actually quite happy to be a taxi driver. I think it would work. You can see the humour and the tragedy that could be written around them, can’t you?
Becky Granger – If she sticks around, there’s a tart-with-a-frequently-broken-heart type avenue that could be explored here. Kinda Bet Lynch.
Kebab family – I like Sinbad/Jerry as a support in the Rovers etc. but his family doesn’t work. How do you get rid of the kids and keep the dad?
Betting Shop Blokes – I like Jack Ellis as Harry. But the son Dan (played by Matthew Crompton) is awful and needs to go. The dynamic between the two isn’t right. No chemistry.
So what do you think? Which Coronation Street characters should get their P45s? Who are your faves?
That’s it for now. Join me on Friday for more soap news and gossip. Got a comment about your favourite soap, this blog or anything else? Share it with me.
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