Emmerdale’s Explosive Storyline

 

Hello soapsters and welcome to A Slice Of Soap!

 

October 16th marks the 35th anniversary of Emmmerdale. Yes, 35 long years…can you believe it? It’s incredible to think that the soap has survived for so long. I still have memories of the haunting signature tune being played in my house when I was a kid….it definitely gets the prize for the most depressing soap theme tune of all time! Every time I hear it, I still run for the box of Kleenex tissues… it’s so sad and depressing – at least to me. Why don’t the producers change it? They changed the name of the show after all. Remember when it was called ‘Emmerdale Farm’? Here’s my jokey idea for a signature tune; they could get 50 Cent and Eminem to come up with a 35th anniversary rap with Beyoncé, Debbie Dingle and Lexi dancing away in the background…now that would certainly bring the show out of the dark ages.

 

For the 35th anniversary, explosive scenes are planned. Yes, even more explosive than the Great Diamond Robbery(!) and the daft Joe’s petting farm storyline. It all centres around the continuing Jack, Diane, Billy love triangle. Here’s the press release of the plot: (be warned: first you need to have the brains of a world class chess champion to follow it, second it’s a soap spoiler!).

 

Jack Sugden has discovered his wife Diane has been having an affair with his nemesis. He viciously attacks bad boy Billy Hopwood, who was released from prison last year and throws out his wife, declaring their marriage over.

 

Heartbroken Billy takes his revenge by implying to teenager Victoria that her father Jack was responsible for her mother Sarah’s death. Victoria seeks out Sarah’s former lover Richie Carter, begging him for the truth about the barn fire which killed her mother, but he stays silent.

 

Jack and his adopted son Andy return to Annie’s Cottage, Jack’s home, and are shocked to see Victoria dousing the house with petrol. Knowing he cannot hide the truth any longer, Andy confesses he started the fire that killedSarah. Stunned by the revelation, Victoria races upstairs and trips, gashing her head on the banister before locking herself in her bedroom.

 

Jack breaks down the door and finds Victoria has passed out and is bleeding badly. Andy tends to Victoria, as Jack goes to the bathroom to get a damp cloth. As he turns on the hot water tap, the boiler pilot light ignites petrol fumes, creating a fireball which blows out the cottage windows. The fireball shoots up the staircase, cutting Jack off from Andy and Victoria. As the fire takes hold the Sugdens fight to save their lives. (Full Story)

 

Were you able to follow that storyline? If you were, well done! You should consider a career as a computer scientist. Convoluted or what?

 

To put things simply, there’s gonna be an explosion involving the Sugdens, and the Emmerdale scriptwriters expect us to be gullible enough to believe the above. I tell you, they must have employed Dr Stephen Hawkin to write the script. It still doesn’t make much sense to me. What’s all this rubbish about the boiler pilot igniting the petrol fumes creating a fireball which blows out the cottage windows? Whatever happened to starting a fire with a good old-fashioned match or even a lighter for that matter? Some times I think that Emmerdale are just trying too hard to be hip and modern.

 

I was watching the soap the other day, there were more special effects used in just one scene than in all of Steven Spielberg’s movies put together. In the scene when Jack was contemplating his future with Diane, I was going cross-eyed trying to keep up with all the action.
 

But isn’t that just typical of today’s Emmerdale? Using special effects to compensate for bad storylines. You wouldn’t see that happening on EastEnders or Coronation Street would you? Just imagine the scenes with EastEnders’ Shirley and Heather being played in fast motion…it would be like watching a Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy movie wouldn’t it?

 

Using special effects in soap operas just doesn’t work for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not totally against the use of visual effects – I wouldn’t mind Coronation Street using them to speed up the dull ‘Clurrrrrrr’ and Ashley scenes, for example. But please, please, please Emmerdale, focus on coming up with decent storylines; that way the show may be around for another 35 years. 

 

That’s it for now. Join me on Monday for more news and gossip from the world of soaps. Got a comment about your favourite soap, this blog or anything else? Share it with me.
 
Ms Bubbles
MSN’s Eye On Soaps