Where’s ‘Squeal ‘ Beale ?

Hello soapsters welcome to a slice of soap… let’s get to it!

 

EastEnders w/e 5th October

 

The cat’s out of the bag now. We know that Steven Beale is Ian’s stalker but what I want to know is: what has he done with him? Has he left Ian tied up in the basement of that derelict flat? The one we last saw him in? Well if he has, at least ‘Squeal’ Beale won’t die of starvation cos there’s at least a month’s supply of Jacobs cream crackers in one of those cupboards somewhere…that’s if ‘Squeal’ Beale can manage to free himself of course. But for all we know, scheming Steven could have done the ultimate…Is Ian Beale now in that great chip shop in the sky serving jellied eel and pie and mash to the likes of Dirty Den, his auntie Pauline and his dead uncle Arthur? Only time will tell.

 

Anyway this week on EastEnders the police find Ian’s car abandoned on the side of a road and start asking all sorts of questions. Meanwhile scheming Steven in an attempt to throw the police off the scent sends Jane a text message – pretending to be Ian – reassuring her that he’s safe and just needs some time to think. Jane feels reassured but the police tell her that they can’t close the case until they’ve spoken to Ian themselves. Jane then insists that they trace the text message. So has Steven finally gone and shot himself in the foot? Will the Old Bill realise that he’s Ian Beale’s stalker? 

 

The atmosphere is still tense between Bradley and Max – well it would be when you’ve done the dirty on your own son. Tanya continues to steam ahead with wedding plans and Yolande receives a pleasant surprise (a one-way ticket to the moon?). Kevin is shocked when he realises Deano has done a runner. Can he stop Denise and Chelsea from going to the police? 

 

 

Also on EastEnders this week:

 

Yolande suspects that Patrick might be having an affair with Roxy (Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!).

 

Kevin and Shirley agonise over their son

 

Carly’s stunned when Sean ‘Shout’ Slater turns up on her doorstep.

 

 

Coronation Street w/e 5th October

 

Roy’s clearly struggling with the Haley situation and breaks down in Freshco’s. Tyrone’s in trouble with Jack and Vera. He’s been caught red handed with his hands in their biscuit tin…and no he wasn’t trying to get the last chocolate digestive – he’s still on Paul’s trail and is trying in vain to catch him out. I don’t know why Tyrone just doesn’t give up; Paul’s just too clever for him and always seems to be one step ahead. By the time Tyrone gets around to convincing Jack and Vera that Paul’s been stealing their money there’ll be nothing left in their pension accounts.

 

Now we all know that it’s not wise to do business with family and friends. I mean just look at Carla and Liam; they’re living proof of that. It’s fair to say that the pair just don’t get on…in fact President Bush and Osama Bin Laden have a better relationship – but all of that’s about to change this week as Carla starts to realise that she has feelings for Liam. As we’ll see on Corrie tonight it’s not all one sided… Liam definitely feels the same way and surprises Carla by giving her a passionate kiss. But where does that leave poor little Rosie Webster? We all know that she’s got a crush on Liam. Rosie needs to have a good chat with her mum cos she knows a thing or two about bad relationships.

 

Sarah tells ‘Damian’ David not to talk to her in the salon and Audrey’s caught in the middle. Oh noooooooo! Ashley and Clurrrrrr get some screen time this week. He’s annoyed when he discovers that she’s asked her mother to baby-sit for the boys instead of him. Yawn. There’s a tense atmosphere in the factory between Liam and Carla who are trying to act as though nothing’s happened since the kiss. Jason refuses to be drawn into conversation with ‘Damian’ David who genuinely wants to make amends. Cilla is surprised when Frank tells her that he wants her as his live-in carer. Enjoy her while you can folks – the brilliant Cilla doesn’t have long on’t cobbles of Coronation Street. ‘Damian’ David tries to be nice to Gail by buying her flowers. He then asks if he can move back in. Craig Charles finally gets something to do besides be the resident fill-in when his character Lloyd is smitten with Sinbad/Jerry’s Jodie.

 

There’s a surprise for Cilla who may have come into some unexpected cash – how will she spend it? You can be sure it won’t be on anything tasteful. When ‘Damian’ David asks Jason about his stag night, the young builder makes it clear that he’s not invited and David’s mood darkens..uh-oh, trouble.

 

Finally, there’s a nonenity of a storyline revolving around waste-of-space Violet agreeing to swap shifts with Sean and then being annoyed when he doesn’t show up. I can’t be the only person who sees that this girl has no role in’t Street? More Clurrrrrrr and Ashley boring-ness. Something about her allowing him to sleep on the sofa. Yawn.

 

Also on Coronation Street this week:

 

Steve and Michelle have to sort out their housing situation.

 

Jason loses his temper and pins ‘Damian’ David against a fence.

 

Sinbad/Jerry throws a chaotic party.

 

Hollyoaks w/e 5th October

 

I’m beginning to think that Hollyoaks should be re-named HollywoodOaks – it’s got to be the soap opera with all the beautiful people. They’re all young and slim – and one of the characters even has an eating disorder. All we need now is someone to adopt children from all over the globe a la Angelina Jolie. Anyway this week, Amy throws a house party while her family are away but she gets a bit worried when she finds out that Michaela’s posted invitations on the Internet. We can see where this storyline is gonna go. Earlier this year, about 200 youngsters damaged Alan and Elaine Bell’s home after the party was advertised on a famous website. As more and more guests arrive Amy starts to worry especially when Ste texts to say he’s got nowhere to stay and is on his way over. As the party gets out of hand, Leah’s in danger and Ste becomes Amy’s hero.

 

Elsewhere Myra puts on a brave face as Tina, Dominic and John Paul leave home. Tina is delighted to be flying the nest and throws a housewarming party…let’s just hope her invitations don’t end up on the net! Anyway while the rest of the McQueens party, John Paul sits alone regretting his decision.

 

Zoe and Jessica are still at loggerheads and Kris has had enough. He locks them in Jessica’s room to have it out and refuses to let them leave until they’ve made up. The girls aren’t one bit happy about the situation but are forced to make amends after seeing footage of their behaviour on Zak’s phone. Hey, it sounds to me like Kris has stumbled across the solution for world peace…

 

In this Friday’s Hollyoaks, Rhys meets the girl of his dreams, Beth Clements. But there’s more of a connection between them than even they know! Now I know I shouldn’t spoil things for you but I can’t resist – here’s what happens: Rhys accidentally knocks this Beth girl off her bike. Now while most of us would be worried sick about losing our no claims bonus, Hollyoaks’ serial womaniser Rhys finds himself falling head over heels in love.

 

It goes without saying that in soap land, nothing is ever straightforward, especially relationships. This one is no exception. It turns out that Beth Clements is actually – SPOILER! Read no further if you don’t want to know –  – – Rhys’ half sister! So it looks like we’re in for Dennis and Sharon part two or ‘Shannis’ as the whole saga was called. Somehow ‘BethRhys’ doesn’t quite have the same ring. Bet your life that the Hollyoaks scriptwriters will really go to town on this storyline. The rest of us might have to go to the loo to throw up. 

Also on Hollyoaks:

 

Nancy feels she’s living in her dead sisters shadow.

 

Max realises he’s in love with Steph.

 

Rhys confides in Gilly about Hannah’s illness.

 

 

Emmerdale w/e October 5th

 

Linda Lusardi’s leaving Emmerdale – who’ll mourn her? She’s not as big a loss to this soap as Wendi Peters is to Coronation Street, that’s for sure. Anyway this week Doug is still keen to stick around in the village but Hilary is adamant that they’re going home. He suggests renting their house out but Hilary is not in agreement. Doug however is determined and offers up his services to Pollard who gives him a trial period.

 

Elsewhere, Paul stands firm on his unwillingness to forgive Nicola and questions how Rodney can. Things later reach boiling point and when the siblings clash, Rodney is forced to intervene. Later Rodney moves out accompanied by Nicola but father and daughter relations soon become strained when Nicola makes loud reference to Rodney’s poor financial situation in front of a busy pub. So has Rodney made a big mistake in forgiving Nicola for her past indiscretions? The answer to that question has got to be a resounding YES!

 

Diane begs a weeping Val to forgive her, insisting that she didn’t have an affair with Billy. Emotions run high between the two women and When Val later disappears, Diane panics and rushes home expecting Val to be there revealing all to Jack.

Jimmy’s stag party gets off to a flying start at a lap-dancing club, but he later receives the shock of his life when his private lap dancer turns out to be none other than one of the great diamond robbers herself, Lexi! She just can’t keep away from trouble can she? Anyway Jimmy’s woes increase the following morning when Kelly’s spies reveal what happened the night before, prompting Kelly to pour a jug of water over him. Jimmy, desperate to get back in Kelly’s good books insists that the lapdancer revealed nothing more than her name and when Kelly discovers Lexi’s secret sideline, it provides her with the perfect ammunition to irritate Carrie.

Also on Emmerdale:

 

Kelly enlists Eli’s help in retrieving the incriminating photo from Debbie.

 

Victoria finds herself in big trouble at school.

 

Grayson suggests that he and Perdy consider surrogacy again.

 

 

That’s it for now. Join me on Wednesday for more news and gossip from the world of soaps. Got a comment about your favourite soap, this blog or anything else? Share it with me.

 

Ms Bubbles
MSN’s Eye On Soaps